Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Monday, December 12, 2011
~~~~What is Real Tension~~~~
Ladki ne ek Ladke se lift mangi,
Raste me Ladki ki Tabiyat kharab hui,
Ladke ko hui tension
Ladka Ladki ko hospital le gay,
Doctor Bola, aap baap banne wale ho
usko phir se Tenson !
Ladka bola me iske baachche ka bap nhi. ladki se pucha to boli yehi baap ha.
us ladke ko fir se Tenson.
Police aayee Ladke ka checkup hua to pata laga ki Ladka to kabhi baap ban hi nhi sakt
Ladka khush hua ki chalo jaan bachi.
Ladka ghar aaya or apne 2 bacho ko dekh kr socha ki jab me baap ban hi nhi skta to inka baap kon ha ?????
..
.
Ye ha asli Tenson !
यदि अन्ना की शादी हो गई होती तो यह आंदोलन कभी न होता।
यदि अन्ना की शादी हो गई होती तो यह आंदोलन कभी न होता। क्योंकि, तब मामला कुछ ऐसा होता-
1. कहां जा रहे हो ?
2. अकेले तुम्हें ही पड़ी है अनशन में जाने की?
3. ये केज़रीवाल का साथ छोड़ो|
4. वो बाल कटी वाली लड़की कौन है ? बार-बार बगल में आकर बैठती है?
5. शाम तक आ जाओगे न ?
6. पहुंचते ही फोन करना...वगैरह वगैरह..
7. बिजली के बिल देने के पैसे नहीं हैं और आप लोकपाल बिल ले आए हो?
8. ये केज़रीवाल तुम्हें मरवाएगा|
9. मुन्ना के लिए दो चार फ्री की टोपी ले आना|
10- कल मुन्ने के स्कूल मे पैरेंट्स मीटिंग है|
2.
संता अपने खेतों पर गया हुआ था। वहां कुंए की जगत पर बैठे एक मेंढ़क से उसकी बहस हो गई।
मेंढ़क: - तुम्हारे पास दिमाग नहीं है ।
संता :- है ।
मेंढ़क :- नहीं है ।
संता: - है ।
मेंढ़क: - नहीं है, नहीं है, नहीं है .....
और इतना कहकर मेंढ़क कुंए में कूद गया ।
संता: - अरे नहीं है तो नहीं है पर इसमें खुदकुशी करने वाली क्या बात थी .....
मेंढ़क: - तुम्हारे पास दिमाग नहीं है ।
संता :- है ।
मेंढ़क :- नहीं है ।
संता: - है ।
मेंढ़क: - नहीं है, नहीं है, नहीं है .....
और इतना कहकर मेंढ़क कुंए में कूद गया ।
संता: - अरे नहीं है तो नहीं है पर इसमें खुदकुशी करने वाली क्या बात थी .....
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Friday, November 25, 2011
Friday, November 11, 2011
Letter to Employee (Bhagavad Gita Style)
Post Appraisal . . . . . . .
This is what Bhagwan Shri Krishna wants to tell you .
Hey Parth (Employee),
Incentive nahi mila, Bura Hua,
salary cut rahi hai, Bura Hua,
Extra shift hogi, woh bhi buri hogi.
Tum pichhla incentive na milne ka paschatap na karo,
Tum agle incentive ki chinta na karo,
Bus apni salary main santusht raho....
Tumhari pocket se kya
Jo aaya tha sab yahee se aaya.
Tum jab nahi the, tab bhi company chal rahi thee
Tum jab nahi hoge, tab bhi chalegee.
Tum koi experience leker nahi aaye the..
Jo experience mila yahi mila...
Jo support diya company ke liye...
Degree leker aaye the, experience leker chalo.
Jo system aaj tumhara hai...
Woh kal kisi aur ka tha....
Kal kisi aur ka or parso kisi aur ka hoga..
Tum ise apna samajh kar kyo magan ho rahe ho..
Yahi khushi tumhari tension kaa kaaran hai.
"Kyo vyarth chinta karte ho, kisse vyarth darte ho,
Kaun tumhe nikaal sakta hai......"
Policy change company ka rule hai.
Engineer Kohn Hai
Engineer Woh Hai Jo Aksar Phasta Hai
Interviews Ke Sawaal Me
Badi Companiyon Ki Chaal Me
Boss Aur Client Ke Bawaal Me
Engineer Woh Hai Jo Pak Gaya
Meetings Ki Jhelai Me
Submissions Ki Gehrai Me
Teamwork Ki Chatai Me
Engineer Woh Hai Jo Laga Rahta Hai
Schedule Ko Failane Me
Targets Ko Khiskaane Me
Roz Naye-Naye Bahane Me
Engineer Woh Hai Jo
Lunch Time Mae Breakfast Karta Hai
Dinner Time Mae Lunch Karta Hai
Commutation Ke Waqt Soya Karta Hai
Engineer Woh Hai Jo Pagal Hai
Chai Aur Samose Ke Pyar Me
Cigeratte Ke Khumar Me
Birdwatching Ke Vichar Me
Engineer Woh Hai Jo Khoya Hai
Reminders Ke Jawaab Me
Na Milne Wale Hisaab Me
Behtar Bhavishya Ke Khwaab Me
Engineer Woh Hai Jise Intezaar Hai
Weekend Night Manane Ka
Boss Ke Chhutti Jaane Ka
Increment Ki Khabar Aane Ka ??????
Saturday, November 5, 2011
Friday, November 4, 2011
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Monday, October 17, 2011
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Friday, September 2, 2011
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Monday, August 29, 2011
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Friday, August 26, 2011
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Monday, August 22, 2011
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Monday, August 15, 2011
Friday, August 12, 2011
Hindi Jokes Collection 1
1.
Patni = sunoji doctor ne mujhe ek mahine ke
Aaram ke liye kisi hill station par jane ko kaha hai,
hum kaha jayenge ?????
Pati = Dusre Doctor ke paas ....
2.
1 student ko aapni life pr proud kb hota h ?
jab usko exam me kuch na aa raga ho
or piche se teacher aake kahe
copy chupalo pichhe wala dekh rha h
3.
Brillantly answrd by Bf on breakup
Gf : tujhe mere jaisi ladki kabi nhi mil sakta
Bf : Chill sweethrt, jb muje tu pasand hi nhi to teri jesi Q dhundu
4.
Ajeeb h na 100 ka note bhut zyada lagta h jab ''Garib ko dena ho'' magar hotel me ho to bhut kam Lagta h, 3 minute upper wale ko yaad krna mushkil h, magar 3 hrs film dekhna aasaan, pure din mehnat ke baad jim jane se nhi thakte magar jab MA - BAAP ka pair dabana ho to log thak jate h, Valentain day ko 200 ka gift apne Gf / Bf k liye le jayenge per mothers day per 1 gulab apne maa ko nhi denge, iss msg ko forward karna bhot mushkil hota h, jabki fizul jokes ko 4wrd karna farz ban jata Hai.....
5.
What is the similarity between ,
Manmohan Singh and Indian Cricket Team..?? ?
.
...
.
.,
Answer : Both of them have a Foreign Coach..
6.
Pati Patni KA JHAGDA HUA
Pati office ja k phone karta hai
khane me kya hai ?????
Patni - Zehar hai.
Pati - tum khakr so jana meine late aaynga
7.
2 boys are talking -
1st boy : Tu mast swimming karta hai re!
.........Kaha pe sikha???
2nd boy - " PANI ME" !!!
8.
One friend says
to another - "I have Facebook, Twitter, Google Plus, MSN Messenger, Skype and Twitter."
2nd Friend : "Dude, do you have a life?"
1st Friend : "OMG! No! Send me the link!
9.
JIVAN KA SACH
Sachcga pyar hamesha galat Insaan se hota he,
our Jab sachche Insaan se hota he Tab galat waqt pe hota he.
10.
Docter - Aapke 3 daant kaise toot gaye ?
Admi - ji wo wife ne kadak roti banayi thi.
Docter - Tho khane se mana kar dete !!
Admi - Ji wahi to kiya tha us ka natija hai !!:-)))))
11.
Husband Biwi se : Pani pila do..
.
.
......Biwi : Kya pyaas lagi hai?
.
.
Husband (Ghusse se) : "Nahi" Gala check karna hai kahin se "LEAK" to nahi ho Rha!
12.
ARZ KIYA HAI...
AIEEE JYADA HASNE WALE TUJHE BHI GUM HO SAKTA HAI...
GOOR FARMAIGA...
AIEEE JYADA HASNE WALE TUJHE BHI GUM HO SAKTA HAI...
.
.
.
.
LAWARIS WASTU NA CHUHE BOMB HO SAKTA HAI!!!
BE AWARE !!
13.
ATTITUDE:
I Love Work.
Unfortunately,
If I Do Work It Gets Finished.
How Can I Finish Something I Luv?
So I Keep Work Pending..
Njoy Laziness ;)
14.
Four things boys do in the Examination Hall :
1. Counting the Girls
2. Counting the fans & tube lights
......
3. Reading the brand name of their pen
4. Thinking of studying for at least next Exams
Four things Girls do in the Exam Hall :
1. Write
2. Write
3. Crying
4. Crying...
15.
2011's Girls
Girls 2 shopkeeper :
Bhaiya wo greeting hai jisme likha ho
"U R MY 1st LOVE"
shopkeeper : Haan hai
Girl : Accha to fir 10 dedo.
16.
Modern Style of wedding
.
.
Pujari
.
.
Do You Both Agree To Change Your Facebook Status To MARRIED?
Couple :-Yes, we do..
.
Pujari :- Vivah Sammpann.;):p
17.
1 white cat pani me gir gayi to pas baithi black cat kya bolegi
socho
.
.
socho
scientist ki tarh mat socho yr Wo to myau - myau hi bolegi.....
18.
Bell Bjne Pr 1 Chota Bcha Bahr Nikla
Admi : Beta Apke Dad Ghr Pr H ?
Bacha :Ji Woh To Bzar Gye Hue H
Admi : Acha Apne Bde Bhai Ko Bulao
Bacha : Wo Cricket Khelne Gaye H
Admi:Acha Tumari Mom To Ghr Pe Hongi
Bacha:G Wo Apni Frnds K Sath Picnic Pr Gai H
Admi (Gusse Mein) : Toh Beta Aap Ghar Me Kyn Baithe Hain? Aap Bhi Kahin Chle Jao
Bacha : Me Bhi Apne Dost K Ghar Aya Hua Hu.
19.
Height of dedication
Papu 5 minute mai paper chor k chla gya
Teacher : kya hoa paper nhi aata?
Papu : wo bat nhi hai,
Mujhe aglay paper ki tyari karni hai..
20.
Woh hume bewafa bolte hai
toh bolte rahe.....
.
....
.
....
Woh hume bewafa bolte hai
toh bolte rahe.....
.
.
.
.
.
Mummy bolti hai :- jo bolta hai woh khud hota hai ..:
21.
Sukhi vaivahik jeevan ka raz
.
.
khud ko sher samjho
.
..
aur
.
.
Biwi ko
. ?
RING
MASTER
22.
"LIFE IS VERY BEAUTIFUL"
Terms & Conditions of your WIFE apply!!!!
23.
Lion 1 Buriya Se :
Main Tera Khoon P Jaun Ga
...Buriya :
Pena Hai To Kisi Jawan Mard Ka Pi
Uska Khoon Garam Hoga
Sher: Nahi, Mera Aj Cold Drink Peny Ka Mood Hay.
24.
Khub jamega rang Jab mill baithenge 3 yaar
AAP
MAI
OR
.
.
Thapad padega Agar BAGPIPER ka khayal b aya
ONLY SPRITE
SIDHI BAAT no bakwas
25.
Pathan Rishte kay Liye Tasveer khichwa Raha Tha,
peechy Gadha bhi tasveer main agaya,
Pathan nay tasveer k peechay likh dya..
....
.
.
.
.
.
.
Hum aagay wala hay ..;)
26.
Kitna baybus hai Insaan Qismat ke aagay
Her sapna toot jata hai Haqiqat k aagay
Jis ne kabhi jhukna nehi sikha duniya main
Wo bhi jhuk jata h BEGUM k aagay
27.
Apne DIL churaya hm khamosh rhe Apne NEEND churaye hm khamosh rhe Apne STYLE churai hm khamosh rhe, But its too much yaar kam se kam CHAPPAL to wapas kr do........
Different Girlfriends Fighting With Their Bfs
Pilot's Girl Friend - Ziyada Ud Mat Samjha
Teacher's Gf - Mujhe Mat Sikhao Samjhe
Dentist's Gf - Daant Tod K Hath Me De Dungi
Docter's Gf - Tabiyat Durust Kr Doungi
MBA's Gf - Mind Ur Own Business Samjha
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Friday, July 29, 2011
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Friday, July 22, 2011
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Kaun Bada
Ek Sharabi full tight hokar ghar jaa raha tha. Raaste me mandir ke baahar pujari dikha.
Sharabi ne pujari se poocha, sabse bada kaun?
Pujari ne peecha chudane ke liye kaha "Mandir Bada".
Sharabi bola "Mandir bada toh dharti pe kaise khada"
Pujari : "Dharti badi"
Sharabi : "Dharti badi toh Sheshnaag pe kyun khadi"
Pujari : "Sheshnaag bada"
Sharabi : "Sheshnaag bada toh Shiv ke gale me kyon pada"
Pujari : "Shiv bada"
Sharabi : "Shiv bada toh Parbat par kyon khada"
Pujari : "Parbat bada"
Sharabi : "Parbat bada toh Hanuman ki ungli pe kyon pada"
Pujari : "Hanuman bada"
Sharabi : "Hanuman bada toh Ram ke charno me kyon pada"
Pujari : "Ram bada"
Sharabi : "Ram bada toh Ravan ke piche kyun pada"
Pujari : "arey mere baap tu bata kaun bada"
Sharabi : "Is duniya me woh bada jo puri bottle pee ke apni taango pe khada"
Sharabi ne pujari se poocha, sabse bada kaun?
Pujari ne peecha chudane ke liye kaha "Mandir Bada".
Sharabi bola "Mandir bada toh dharti pe kaise khada"
Pujari : "Dharti badi"
Sharabi : "Dharti badi toh Sheshnaag pe kyun khadi"
Pujari : "Sheshnaag bada"
Sharabi : "Sheshnaag bada toh Shiv ke gale me kyon pada"
Pujari : "Shiv bada"
Sharabi : "Shiv bada toh Parbat par kyon khada"
Pujari : "Parbat bada"
Sharabi : "Parbat bada toh Hanuman ki ungli pe kyon pada"
Pujari : "Hanuman bada"
Sharabi : "Hanuman bada toh Ram ke charno me kyon pada"
Pujari : "Ram bada"
Sharabi : "Ram bada toh Ravan ke piche kyun pada"
Pujari : "arey mere baap tu bata kaun bada"
Sharabi : "Is duniya me woh bada jo puri bottle pee ke apni taango pe khada"
Sorry Wrong Number
Santa calls from Delhi Chandigarh
Servant picked the phone.
Santa - mem sab se baat karvao.
servant - wo tho sahab ke sath lobby mein baithi hai....
Santa - par sahab to mein hu.
Servant - ab mein kya kru.
Santa - mar do dono ko.
After killing................
Servant - lanshon ka kya kru.
Santa – swimming pool mein phank do.
servant - par hamera ghar mein to swimming pool nhi hai.
Santa - Is it 2673222.......
servant - nahi!
Santa - sorry, wrong number.
Servant picked the phone.
Santa - mem sab se baat karvao.
servant - wo tho sahab ke sath lobby mein baithi hai....
Santa - par sahab to mein hu.
Servant - ab mein kya kru.
Santa - mar do dono ko.
After killing................
Servant - lanshon ka kya kru.
Santa – swimming pool mein phank do.
servant - par hamera ghar mein to swimming pool nhi hai.
Santa - Is it 2673222.......
servant - nahi!
Santa - sorry, wrong number.
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